Feelin' Old.

Good god I'm old.

I'm not sure when it happened but one morning I woke up and realized just how old I was. Now, I know that sounds silly when you think about the fact that I'm only 23 but the truth is, at university, 23 is old.

I have been going to school for so long that I've completely lost that "School's Starting soon..." apprehension and anticipation. I know my teachers so well that we go out for beers and watch football together and on the first day of classes, I wore my pyjama pants. Because the truth is, you can always tell a first year by how she dresses (I use she because I find this a strictly female rule). I'm not sure when the U of A joined forces with the Armoury and Rum Jungle to turn this it into the largest meat market in Alberta, but seriously: Stillettos, a mini-skirt, crimped hair and a mostly see through lace halter top at 8 am??? That is what I got to wake up to my first day of classes. Ladies, just a word of advice: for the love of god, you don't need to look like a runway model to understand elementary logic. And anyway, how can that outfit be comfortable to sit in for a whole day????

See, this is my problem- I am so old that I've turned into my mother. Things like this just didn't bother me before.

On top of that, I have stopped caring about the things that used to matter. I remember in first year I vowed that I would never fall victim to the travesty that is apathy. HAH! Not only am I a victim of apathy- I revel in it. I love how uninvolved I have become and take pleasure in knowing that the world WILL NOT be a better place just because I volunteered at a tuition campaign. Pretty sad, hey? Well, I suppose it depends on how you look at it.

And as for the partying, good god! There was a time where I was damn near legendary. Now, my liquor tolerance is down to almost zero, and the days of surviving off an hour and half of sleep are long gone. (well, at least not more than once or twice a week). On top of that, last week I actually skipped out on a night of drinking to, heaven forbid, study. I feel so dirty. and old.

They say that age is a matter of frame of mind. I have to completely agree. Maybe one day I will wake up and feel 18 again. I hope so. But for now, I'm going to enjoy one of the few perks that goes along with feeling old: the luxury of being as bitter and cynical as you want.

That said, I'm going to have a cup of steamed milk, sit on my porch and stare down passers-by. After that I will have a nap, watch the news and pretend that I have the energy to walk to Mac's. Finally, I will have a few rounds of crib and fall asleep in front of the TV at 9pm.

Livin' it up,
Zita