Zita's Little World

Just a random series of thoughts that run through my head.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

This can only mean trouble...

More internet wackiness to distract from my schooling....

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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Reflections of 2006

Well, once again the year is wrapping up- some things are coming to an end, some things are just beginning...I figure this year, as monumentous as it was, is worth noting so that one day I can look back and remember that I survived 2006.

January-April: There really is no other way to remember these months aside from the fact that I was sick. This kind of controlled every aspect of my life. Brushing shoulders with Death is an experience that I hope not to live again for a long, long time. It's amazing to think that it was only a year ago, but these months were the longest of my life. I am so fortunate to have had my friends, my family and my love holding my hands through it all. I don't know if I would have made it without them. Being sick has definately allowed me put many things in perspective. The first is, you are, in many ways, the product of those who love you. But you are not ONLY the product of those who surround you. There is an internal essence, a drive, that forces you to survive regardless of obstacles. When push comes to shove, the only thing you can rely on is yourself- everything else can support you, but the drive needs to come from within. Also, life is precious- much too precious to be wasted on those who have nothing good to say about you, or anyone else. Surround yourself with people you love, and people who love you. This is the true road to happiness. Possibly the lowest point of my life.

April-August: Well, I turned 25. Scary. Thought a lot about where I am going, and what I am doing. Found my niche in my relationship, which just keeps getting stronger every day. Visited Ryan in Vancouver and had the weekend of my life! Witnessed the closing of Keegans, and the end of an era. Decided to work retail...bad idea. Had an amazing summer filled with drinks, laughter, memories and friends. I am so lucky for everything I have! Fell in love...with my cat. Lost my cat. Sad. Started feeling much better. Chemo sucks, I don't recommend it. Had too many surgeries...spent too much time in bed. Almost lost my friend over a miscommunication. Got her back eventually. Survived a crazy roommate. Lost some friends, made some new ones. Lost Miles on his birthday. Spent lots of time on "Zitopia". Spent a lot of time with Antoine. All in all, a good point in my life.

Sept-December: The High point of the year. Went back to school. Started to waitress again (which I love...I had forgotten how much I love it). Had an amazing one year anniversary with the love of my life. Celebrated Conor's birthday. Forgot to dress up for Hallowe'en! Spent too many mornings in bed, snuggling and not cleaning. Had the apartment to myself (and Jason) for three months. Never want to live without him again. Spent lots of time with my new work collegues. Made one of them my new roommate! Did well in school. Survived the finals week from hell! had the best pre-Christmas month of my life...spent too much money and wanted to buy EVERYTHING for Jason, and my friends. Made plans for the New Year, including a group party for Ron White, tickets for Eric Clapton and possible spring break plans! It's not Christmas yet, so I'll comment on that later. I think these months may have been the best months I have ever lived. I can't even begin to express how happy I am, how loved I feel and how excited I am for 2007.

On the agenda for 2007:
January: MY LAST TERM OF SCHOOL (assuming all goes well health wise)
Work: I like my job. I want to stay there. It rocks.
Home: Moving in with Jason at his house. Big step. Exciting step. I'm going to have a dishwasher!!!
Heart: I can't imagine life without Jason. I know that 2007 holds many more memories for us.
Travel: Possibly working on a cruise ship? I'll keep you posted!
Family: Sad that I can't be with them for Christmas. Building bonds with my family will be a high priority this year.
Friends: I'd be perfectly happy to never make a new friend again, as long as I don't lost the ones I have now. They rock.
Fun Stuff: ERIC CLAPTON!!! WHOO HOO!!! Ron White. Road trip to Vancouver? Only time will tell...

So that's it, my few scant reflections on time passed and things to come.

Merry Christmas to all, and Happy New Year!!!

Lovin', Lovin' and still just a woman...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

More 2006

So the second of my annual "end of the year quizzes" follows. Last year's answers are in brackets. Let's see if I've changed at all...for better or for worse...

Zita- 2006 version.

Name three names you go by:
1) Baby - but only by Jason(Zita-bot)
2) Zita (Zed.)
3) Wonder Butt- long story (Zita)

Name three screen names you've had (this hasn't changed)
1) PrimaDonna_KAD (my first screen name- I was 12)
2) Femme_fatale1981 (my second screen name- I was about 14)
3) zkdube (I'm too lazy to be creative now)

Name three things you like about yourself
1) My sense of determinism (my passion)
2) My loyalty to those I love (My rationality and reason)
3) My ability to see the best in the worst situations (My loyalty)

Name three things you don't like about yourself
1) My sensitivity to criticism (My fear of the past)
2) My fear of rejection (My fear of vulnerability)
3) My difficulty in just "letting things go" (My inability to be emotinal even when I really just want a good cry.)

Name three parts of your heritage (hasn't changed)
1) French
2) Native
3) I think there's some Irish in there somewhere but don't quote me

Name three things that scare you
1) Being "caught" (I'm severely claustorphobic)
2) Being rejected
3) Failure

Name three of your everyday essentials
1) Sleep (Fruit)
2) Cuddling (caffeine)
3) A good shower (my computer)

Name three things you are wearing right now
1) Pink PJ top (Pi Beta Phi Sweater)
2) Black track pants (hasn't changed...wow)
3) mismatched socks (also hasn't changed...stupid socks)

Name three of your favorite bands or artists at this moment
1) Led Zeppelin (hasn't changed)
2) Liz Phair (Ani Difranco)
3) Eric Clapton (Pink Floyd)

Name three of your favorite songs at this moment:
1) Wonderful Tonight (Tangerine- Led Zeppelin)
2) Giving it all to you (Extraordinairy- Liz Phair)
3) Perfect Fingers (As Is- Ani Difranco)

Name three new things you want to do in the next 12 months
1) Get a "real" job (Graduate! Whohoo!)
2) Pay off my debt (Start my masters)
3) Finish my cd (Finish the half dozen songs I've been working on this year.)

Name three things you want in a relationship (love is a given)
1) Equality (Humour)
2) Trust (Passion)
3) Respect (Sincerity)
( 4) Animalistic attraction. hot. lol)

Name two truths and one lie
1) I hate rodents (I sleep with my socks on)
2) My favorite drink is Spiced rum and diet Coke (I drink at least 4 cups of coffee a day)
3) I like to run (I take baths about twice as often as I take showers.)

Name three things about the opposite sex that attract you
1) Sense of humour (Great teeth...first and foremost)
2) Intelligence
3) Sensivity (Confidence)

Name three things you just can't do
1) Sleep enough to keep me sane
2) Say no to my boss (Get at least 1 hour of quiet a day)
3) Say no to a good party

Name three of your hobbies
1) Having quiet nights with my friends (Going out WAY more than I should...Karaoke, Centurians, name it- I do it.)
2) reading in the bath (Composing)
3) Playing my piano (giving relationship advice- though this is not a hobby by choice but rather by circumstance.)

Name three things that you want really badly right now
1) A DAY OFF!!! (hmmm. do you really want to know the answer to this question...?)
2) A vacation (A full night's sleep.)
3) A marvelous Christmas with my love (My entire family home for Christmas! Which I am GETTING! YAY!)

Name three careers you're considering
1) Something to do with Urban Planning (Dr. of Sociology)
2) Dr. of Sociology (Political Analyst)
3) Restaurant owner (Author.)

Name three places you want to go on vacation to
1) Vancouver (Ottawa- and I am going there in January! Kick ASS!)
2) The mountains on a road trip. Anyone in?
3) Somewhere WARM (New York- I'm in a NY state of mind.)

Name three potential kids names
1) Chloé
2) Angélique
3) Alissa or Gabrielle

1) James (Alexandre)
2) Sébastien
3) Michel (after my dad)

Name three things you want to do before you die
1) Go to Greece (Actually graduate...for real...no joke...)
2) Write my PHD (Get a real job...for real...again...no joke...)
3) Raise a child

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Jason and I at his Christmas Party on December 3, 2006. Damn we're cute!

My baby, the Viking! JASON SMASH!!!

Jason and Skippy at BPs after Skippy's surgery. He's a scary, scary man!

2006 in recap

So as the year (from hell in some ways, and from heaven in others...) draws to an end, I am compelled to once again follow in my yearly quiz tradition. Here's 2006 in recap.

1) What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Worked full time while going to school...ouch

2) Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I can't remember my New Year's resolutions but I think this year I will actually make some tangible ones. There are certain things in my life that I would like to take control of. Keeping my apartment clean is one of them.

3) Did someone close to you give birth? Nope, though Jamie and Brooke (Jeff and Chantal's best man) gave birth to a son! We aren't really close but it was exciting anyway.

4)Did anyone close to you die? No one close to me died, but Jeff's grandfather passed away in January...it was very sad. We only met once but he made a big impact on me. I sang at the funeral.

5) What countries did you visit? I didn't leave canada but I did take a hell of a road trip to Vancouver over the summer to visit the Big Rybowski.

6) What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Health, again. Seems to be a trend.

7) What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Well, a few fromm 2005 (Wake, Blind Date Night, NIN, the Centurian) are still there. From 2006: January 1st, January 2nd, The entire month of february (ouch), my birthday, Jason's birthday, October 28th, and countless other dates (for better or for worse)/

8)What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting through being sick again; learning to forgive and forget mistakes of the past, etching true and lifelong friendships, forgiving myself.

9) What was your biggest failure? Not knowing where to draw the line with some people.

10)Did you suffer illness or injury? sadly I was. I don't think I would have gotten through any of it if it wasn't for my friends. They were wonderful.

11) What was the best thing you bought? Jason's one-year anniversary gift (his humidor)

12) Whose behavior merited celebration? Conor- I can't even begin to explain why. But he has impacted me so intensely, as a friend and as a person. I could not respect him more. Add to that Miles, Jason, Krystal, Tasha, Chantal/Jeff, and some of my newer friends.

13) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry out, particularly not online. They know who they are.

14) Where did most of your money go? I have no idea. Liquor? Jason? It just kind of went...medication killed me financially too...

15) What did you get really, really, really excited about? Jason. Vancouver. my one year anniversary, aerosmith. And I am REALLY REALLY REALLY excited for Eric Clapton.

16)What song will always remind you of 2006? Anna Begins, Counting Crows; Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton; Perfect Fingers, Ani Difranco.

17)Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or hardened? a bit of both- I am so happy for the friends I have, and the wonderful partner I've been given. I am so excited about the future. But I'm also tougher than I was last year. It's hard not to be when you spend a year in pain.

ii. thinner or fatter? About the same. But it took a while to get here. First I lost a lot of weight. Then I put on a bunch of weight. Then I lost a bunch of weight again. Now I'm about even.

iii. richer or poorer?definitely poorer! Stupid meds.

18) What do you wish you'd done more of? Gone to class. Cleaned.

19) What do you wish you'd done less of? Not much. I did a lot this year.

20) How will you be spending Christmas? With Jason. I'm so excited. I've never looked forward to Christmas so much before.

21) Did you fall in love in 2006? I sure did. And it's the most wonderful thing in the world.

22)Any one-night stands? nope. Was with the same guy the whole time.

23) What was your favorite TV program? House. Robot Chicken.

24) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word. I try not to hate anyone...but there are people that I don't respect or care to be around. I think that's natural though.

25)What was the best book you read? I didn't really read a whole lot of books. The Leviathan for my class ranks pretty high though.

26) What was your greatest musical discovery? Ani Difranco.

27) What did you want and get? The love of my life to love me back.

28) What did you want and not get? Nothing really. Not that I can think of.

29) Favorite film of this year? The Departed was really good, Hoodwinked rocked, watching The Wall on the big screen also ranked high. But little miss sunshine takes the cake. (and clerks 2)

30) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned the ripe old age of 25 on April 21. We had a pj party and Jason and I went skank hunting at the PO. It was awesome.

31) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Jason and I had always been this happy; but then again, i don't think it would be as good if we had been. We had to take our time to get here or it wouldn't have worked.

32)How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Didn't have one.

33)What kept you sane? Conor, Jason, Miles, Krystal, Tasha (I miss you...), Chantal, Antoine, Roza (for better or for worse)

34) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Keiffer Sutherland. He's hot. and Jason Lee (My Name is Earl Rocks!)

35) What political issue stirred you the most? Actually, I'm kind of losing my taste for politics. Maybe it's cause I don't read the paper anymore and have no tv to follow the news.

36) Who do you miss? My dad. And some of my friends who are gone.

37) Who was the best new person you met? Skippy.

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: You only know who your real friends are when the going gets tough.

39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Monday, October 30, 2006

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Hallowe'en 2005

The Best Night Of My LIfe

So yesterday was our one year anniversary, for whatever that's worth! And it was hands down the best day I can remember ever having. But it happened in a way that only seems possible to Jason and I. Man, weird things happen to us. As Krystal would say, what do you expect when two random people start dating? Random things happen to them!

Jason had bought hockey tickets for last night. He did so before he realized that this would be one year since Wake, and therefore one year since we had gotten together. That being said, i certainly have no issue hitting up a hockey game with him. Hockey seems to be a big part of our relationship together. So we decided that the night would consist of a nice dinner, a hockey game and some alone time together at home. Pretty simple, not formal or fancy but a wonderful plan!

Jason told me that the game started at eight, so I made reservations at the Old Spaghetti Factory for six-fifteen. He picked me up at my place and gave me a present- a wonderful stuffy named Mr. Floppy that has figured into more than one of our inside jokes! It was the sweetest thing ever...We got to the restaurant just in time, ordered our meals, some mozza sticks (they have the best!) and a bottle of wine. Just as we received our appetizers and were finishing our first glasses of wine, Jason thought he would check the game time on the tickets one more time...he had gotten a text message from a friend of ours saying have fun at the game several hours before we thought it started. This made him a little nervous, so he pulled out the tickets and lo and behold! The tickets said the game started at 6pm. we checked the date to make sure that they were the right tickets, but in fact, in black and white it said that the October 28th game against the Capitals commenced at 6pm. We checked our watches and realized that it was almost seven. Jason smiled at me and said that it didn't matter. We would miss the game and just enjoy our dinner together. But his eyes looked so sad that I knew I had to do some.

I called our waitress over and asked her if it was possible to package up our meals and have them kept for us for later. I knew they would never let us into the arena with food so it was the second best thing. She was a little confused but agreed to do it. Don't worry, we left her a great tip! I told Jason that we would probably miss the first two periods, but we would make it there in time for the third...again, not ideal but good nonetheless. He lit up- he was so happy that I had found a way to go to the game anyway...

So we cleared off our meals and tried calling a cab. Sadly, we couldn't get through to ANYONE!!! Now, we aren't clever enough to figure out that the LRT would likely take us there in the same amount of time, so I did the last thing I could think of. Earlier that night, our friend Miles called us to wish us a happy anniversary. Since we have such wonderful friends, i knew that I could call him and he would drive all the way downtown in the crappy weather just to get us to the game! (Don't worry, we're getting him something nice!) So we waited outside for Miles and stood in the snow for a while. I realized that I gave him the wrong address so we called him back. He was lost! He told us that he'd meet us on Jasper ave since it would be easier that way. So, hand in hand, Jason and I ran down the block in the snow to meet up with him. When we finally did, I cut off Miles since I was so rushed to get Jason to the game in time!

It's important to say here that most people would be upset. But that was the miracle of last night. Both jason and I were in such good moods that we decided to just make the best of everything and see the humour in the night! We laughed the whole time! We climbed into miles' little car and set off towards Rexall. (Once again, I'd like to mention how wonderful Miles is!) To make sure that jason missed as little of the game as possible, I asked that we turn on the radio so we could catch the play by play on 630 ched. It appeared at first that were in an intermission; the announcer was talking about the two teams...it took us a while to realize that we still hadn't heard a score, or how either of the teams was actually playing. Jason commented that it was very strange: it seemed like the game hadn't even started. I laughed and said "wouldn't it be funny if the game was actually at eight afterall???" We all laughed at how unlikely that would be...until I pointed out the heavy traffic heading towards the arena...It was so dense that Miles asked if he could just drop us off at the corner just shy of the center. We, of course, agreed and thanked him profusely! And we were on our way to watch some serious hockey!!! Time at this point: 7:30.

While we waited for the lights to change on the street corner, I decided to ask another couple, both wearing hockey jerseys, if they were going to the game. They answered that they sure were...I hesitated for a second and asked them what time the game started at. They looked a little confused and answered eight. Jason and I burst out laughing and told them our story! I also had to call Miles to let him know...as any great friend would be, he was equally amused! He was just happy that he'd been able to help us out.

Unable to believe our luck so far, Jason and I made our way to our seats...the bleediest of the nose bleed sections! We were so far up, I got vertigo! But it was a great section! Everyone was rowdy and happy and into the game. It was great. While watching the play, Jason and I talked endlessly about how wonderful it was to be together. I have never felt closer to him or more in love. Of course, each sentence would be paused if ever something exciting happened. Three 20 ounce beers and 4 oiler goals later, the game was over. Final score: Four-Zero for the home team! I looked over at Jason and told him that the Oilers won just for us...they had to keep our night as perfect as it already was.

So we left the stadium for the LRT station, and Jason wondered if it was possible that the restaurant would still be open. I told him it was unlikely since it was past 10:30...most restaurants downtown close at 10. We thought we'd call any way, and decided that no matter what, we would be happy even if we didn't get our food at all...To our great surprise, the phone was answered by the manager who said that the restaurant was indeed closed. However, he also said that he would be there for a while cleaning up, and if we made it there quickly he would wait to make sure we got our meals!!! So we jumped the train and headed back downtown. On the train, we started talking again about how happy we are together, and were so disgustingly enthralled with each other that we missed our stop! Thankfully, the downtown LRT stations are ridiculously close so we got off at the next stop and walked the six blocks to the restaurant. It was quite cold out, but beautiful nonetheless. It was snowing, which is my favorite weather, and I had mentioned earlier how much I wanted to take a wake in the snow later if we had time. Turns out the walk in the snow found us, and time wasn't an issue. It was beautiful and romantic and wonderful! I fell on the ice in front of some people and felt a little embarassed but we couldn't stop laughing and absolutely nothing could damper my spirits at that point.

We got to the restaurant and were greeted by some of the staff. We picked up our food, explained what had happened and shared another good laugh with them. On our way out the door, the manager called out to us "Happy Anniversary". And so far, it certaily was!

We were going to cab home, but again there were no cabs to be had so decided to just LRT again. The train came almost instantly, just as the last one had, and, upon arrival at the University station, our bus was already waiting for us. It was perfect timing- just another small detail that made everything that much greater. We got off at the stop nearest my place- right in front of the H20 and I remembered that a friend had asked me to stop by to see her since it had been a long while. I asked Jason if he minded if we popped in for a quick drink and he smiled and said that he would like to hear me sing.

We said hello to a few of my friends and grabbed a table all by ourselves in the back. If the H20 could ever be considered romantic, it was last night. We were so lost in our own world that the waitress had to ask us twice if we wanted another drink. We had a few, including some tequilla shots and I sang for him. I picked a grossly girly, ridiculously sappy one that happened to hold some meaning for both of us, and it was great! Then, House, the host, sang Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight', which we've decided is definately our song. We danced together, alone in the back. At one point Jason looked so happy that he got teary.

We talked for hours again, and decided that somehow, for some reason, we work. Everything about us seems right. It took us a long time to get here, but now that we are there's nowhere else we'd rather be. We talked about the future, about what we want...and it was always a "we". If I didn't know it before, I know now: I will spend the rest of my life with this man. And, i think maybe for the first time, he knew it too. All we can talk about now is how awesome forever is going to be, now that we know the other one will be in it.

I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful night. I couldn't ask for a better person to spend my life with. I have never been happier. All the stars aligned for us last night, and we found ways to make each imperfection perfect! I am so in love I feel like my heart is going to explode.

This year could have been the worst of my life- there were more than my fair share of obstacles. But it has actually been the best, and hopefully was the first of many more years like it.

Happy anniversary, Mr. Fuzzy Face. Je t'aime.


Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Stupid quizzes pass the time

Can you blow a bubble?: sure can.
Can you dance? depends on who you ask I guess, but I don't look totally ridiculous
Can you do a cart wheel? yup. Yay gymnastics!
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? I'm an expert cherry tier!
Can you touch your toes? yup. Head and shoulders knees and toes...
Can you whistle? sort of but I'm no Roger Whitaker
Can you wiggle your ears? no
Can you wiggle your nose? yes

Did you ever get into a fist fight in school? yes...I picked on a small boy.
Did you ever run away from home? not really. I didn't make it very far.
Did you ever want to be a doctor? not really...doctors do gross stuff.
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter? no, but my boyfriend wanted to be a firetruck...

Do you believe in God? yes
Do you know how to swim? yes
Do you like roller coasters? SO SO SO MUCH
Do you own a bike? I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like- it's got a basket, a bell that rings and dings and makes it look good. I'd give it to you if I could but I borrowed it. (Lyrics courtesy of Crazy Syd Barrett!)
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows? nope. I hate gross stuff.

Does hair loss run through your family? yes on my mom's side, no on my dad's. My brother is so screwed! My other brothers seem safe though.
Does your car get good gas mileage? Wish I could tell you, but I am carless.
Does your family have family picnics? Ha. No. My family is not sappy like that.

Have you ever been on a plane? yes, often.
Have you ever asked someone out? yes, sort of. Well, I didn't really ask Jason out...but we're together because I pursued him so I figure that counts.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? yup. Silly boys.
Have you ever been to the ocean? yes, but I didn't make it there the last time I was near it. Silly Jason...
Have you ever gone fishing? yes, with my dad. It was fun.
Have you ever painted your nails? yup, but I'd be happy to never do it again!

How did you find out about nexopia? Tashie...I miss Tashie.
How many myspace friends have you met in person? All of them. I'm not really into "internet friends"
How tall are you?: 5'6" and some...
How much money do you have on you right now? twenty ish...mostly in change. Sigh...

Last person you hung out with? Jason. He's generally the last person I've hung out with since we're basically always together.
Last thing you said out loud? Bye, Babe...
Last thing someone said to you? See ya later.

What are you listening to? A simpsons episode from season 17
What is the temperature outside? snowy. It's beautiful. Don't actually know the temperature though. But I love the snow.
What radio station do you listen to? Don't really listen to the radio but generally the bear if it has to be something.
What was the last restaurant you ate at? Had a one year anniversary "meal" at Old Spaghetti factory so of...long story.
What was the last thing you bought? some drinks last night.
What was the last thing you had to drink? a shot of jim beam.
What was the last thing on TV you watched? i don't watch tv but simpsons is a tv show so it counts.

Who is your newest friend you added to nexopia? Brit and Skippy.
Who was the last person you IM'd? My msn is fubared right now so no one for a while.
Who talked to on the phone? Krystal. We talk too much!
Who is your current crush? Totally smitten over my boy.
Who was the last person you took picture of? Not sure but a picture was taken of Jason and I last night.
Who was the last person to leave you a comment? Heather. Happy Hallowe'en
Who was the last person you said i love you to? Jason.

Ever really cried your heart out? yes
Ever cried yourself to sleep? yes
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? yes
Ever cried over the opposite sex? yes
Do you cry when you get an injury? a lot.
Do certain songs make you cry? yes. I'm a sap.

Are you a happy person? generally I am.
What can make you happy? my friends, my family and good music.
Do you wish you were happier? At this very second, I don't think I could be any happier.
Is being happy overrated? no. that's a silly question.
Can music make you happy? it sure does.

How many times have you had your heart broken? I'm not sure I really have. I've been really sad over lost loves but I don't know if I've ever been "heartbroken"
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them? yes. there are a few who would qualify for that.
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you? yes, but I'm not always sure they meant it. Love is better shown than said.

Who do you actually hate, anyone? Hate is a strong word. I've forgiven those I thought I hated.
Ever made a hit list? Nope. If I make a list about something I'm compulsive about completing it so it would be a dangerous thing to do.
Have you ever been on a hit list? not that i know of lol except maybe Duncan's 2X4 list.
Are you a mean bully? sometimes. I've been told I'm a bully, but I don't mean to be.
Do you hate George Bush? You can't hate someone you don't actually know. But I don't like his policies that much.

Is your self-esteem extremely low? I don't think so. It's not ridiculously high, but it isn't extremely low.
Do you believe in yourself? in some aspects. In others, I'm still pretty insecure.
Are you good looking? Depends on who you ask. Attractiveness varies according to each person.
Do you wish you can be someone else? nope. I love being me most of the time.

What is your current hair color? dark blonde.
Current Piercings? my ears, but I never really wear earings.
Have any tattoos? yes, a treble clef on my back.
Straight Hair or Curly: depends on my mood. Generally wavy, but sometimes I let it go actually curly. Then I look like I'm 12.

What shirt are you wearing? Pink PJs. With Teddy Bears. I'm such a girl.
Shorts: It's fleecy! But it's actually pants, not shorts.
Shoes?: My frog slippers. I love them.
Necklaces? nope.

Rock or rap: rock
Coffee or Hot Cocoa: Both simulataneously. mmmm...cafe mocha.
Wild Night out or Romantic Night: Depends. Last night was kind of a wild ish night but it was also the most romantic ever. I love to go out when I feel up to it, but I also love my quiet movie nights at home.
Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate.
Hummer or Sports Car: I WANT A HUMMER!!!
Bracelet or Necklace? necklace. I need a new one though. Something sparkly!
History or Science: History
Sleep in or Early to rise: sleep in...it's not that I'm not a morning person...it's that I'm more of a late night person.
Beach or Boardwalk: beach
Hoodie or Tee Shirt: hoddie
Night or Day: night
High School or college: University. Though you have to go through High School to get there so I'm not sure what you're asking.
California or Florida: Never been to either so I don't know.
Simple Plan or Good Charlotte: UGH
Love at first sight or Learn to Love: Lust at first sight, love takes time to build.

Kissed the same sex? yes, as a joke. Never seriously.
Hugged someone? all the time. I'm a cuddle-whore
Been on the phone until the sun came up? yes
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants? nope. never had a pee issue.
Laughed so hard you cried? yes. a lot.
Got in a fight with someone? too many. I wish I could take them all back.

Person you talked to in person? Jason
Person you talked to online? not sure. I sent a messsage to skippy last night.
Person you talked to on the phone? Krystal. Didn't you already ask this?
Had a shower? not yet. I love my days off.

Do you like surveys: Yeah, I have a weird thing for them.
What kind of shampoo do you use? Pantane Pro V.
Do you get along with your parents? ya me n my mom have a very close relationship
Do you have mental breakdowns? yup
Did you ever tell your parents you didn't feel good so you didn't have to go to school? a couple of times.

Current mood: so happy.
Current Music: The Soundtrack
Current hair style: Pony Tail if I'm working. Down if I'm not.
Current Crush: Again, this was already asked.
Current Thing I Ought to be doing: homework. Ugh.
Current Windows Open: Simpsons folder and Real Player
Current desktop picture? Deer and Bunny Picture. So cute.
Current Book: Michael Connely, Angel's Flight.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Anniversaries and Such

Well, it's hard to believe but it's been almost a year since last Hallowe'en. That means it's been almost a year since Delta Upsilon's annual Wake. And almost a year since Jason.

It would be pretty silly to pretend that this is your average one year anniversary. We certainly aren't your average couple- it took us a very long time to get where we are today. But it all really started at wake, so I guess there isn't a better day to celebrate.

For some reason largely unknown to me, this particular occasion has me acting all bubbly and sappy. This is funny to me since it certainly isn't my first one year anniversary. Hell, I've had three and four year anniversaries...so what makes this one so special?

I think it comes down to many different things. Jay and I are in a really good place- taking things slow was the best idea ever! We've overcome many of the major obstacles and now we can just focus on being ridiculously happy. And we are. Ridiculously.

But I think there may be more to it than that. Part of it must be just how enthralled I am by my proverbial boyfriend. Everyday I become more and more astonished and every day I fall harder and harder in love. Is that possible? I wouldn't have thought so 365 days ago...but I definately do now. A big part of it is that I'm still surprised and astounded that things have turned out so well...I spent a long time preparing myself for the worst in this relationship. It's nice to be wrong!

I have been in love before, but I must admit this is a different kind of love. It's giddy and school-girlish and chick-flick romantic. It's everything I use to hate about relationships- cutesy holding-hands and sharing food and kissing in public. It's my spending hours building a 'soundtrack' of our relationship because we're both such music nuts. It's insane and infatuated and wonderful! But most importantly , it's the most sincere thing I have felt in months.

This year probably could have been the worst year of my life. Just being as sick as i have been was bad enough, let alone some of the other unluckiness I've faced. Jason made it better. He makes everything better. Not perfect, just better.

Anyway, that's today's rant from a very very lucky girl.

livin' lovin',