The Friendship Debate

So, I have recently had a major belief that I have always held to be true questioned. You see, I am a girl who has always simply connected better with men. Now, when I say connect, I'm not adding any sexual connotations to it- I mean, quite simply, that I have always related to men better than women and have always felt more comfortable in their presence. This may be because I was surrounded by them growing up, and in my formative years, had four brothers continuously around me. Growing up, I was more of a jock and outdoorsy kid than the Barbie-stay-at-home-and-dream-about-weddings-and-babies type of girl. In fact, my mom didn't even let me have barbies, so I spent the better part of my time on the trampoline, on an ice rink, in a swimming pool, and playing various sports. Moreover, I never considered myself unusual in this. The few female friends that I had were very like me- more comfortable with guys. This was actually the basis of our friendship.

It's simple to imagine, then, that I have never had hard time believing that the different genders could be friends without any sort of sexual or romantic interest. I have had many male friends that I have never had an interest (fleeting or not) in. They are friends and nothing more, or at least that's what I've always thought. However, recently, I'm starting to see a trend in some of my friendships. Many of my male friends have decided to confide in me that they have harbored feelings for me (either in the past or in the present). Some have even gone so far as to ask me if there would be any potential for a relationship there. Moreover, I have found myself in positions where I have suddenly found friends that I have known for a number of years very attractive and would consider (if things weren't so complicated...and if I wanted a relationship in the first place...) dating.

This, as you might imagine, has taken me for quite the loop. It has, in essence, screwed with the very fundament of what I have always considered a universal truth: men and women CAN just be friends, without any sort of sexual tension.

I suppose in the long run, it doesn't really matter that much. Sexual tension is pretty inevitable with the genders and the fact is that it can be controlled. But still, it kind of forces me to rethink every friendship I have forged with males in my life. And that's a pretty scare thought.

Zita