I hate libraries

So I am being kicked out of the libray at Knowledge Common because it closes at 6 pm during FINALS- I don't care if it's Friday, that doesn't change the fact that I have a final paper due tomorrow. Don't you think if they're going to give us final exams up until a Saturday (which I'm not impressed about), they would at least give us the stupid ressources necessary to do our work for them...Stupid U of A. GRRRR!

Tee hee

I have to do this quiz cause Neener wants me to:

Name three names you go by:
1) Zita-bot
2) Doobie
3) Miss Zita

Name three screen names you've had
1) PrimaDonna_KAD
2) Femme_fatale1981
3) zkdube

Name three things you like about yourself
1) My strength
2) My sense of humour
3) My sense of justice

Name three things you don't like about yourself
1) My insecurity
2) My quick temper
3) My "harshness"

Name three parts of your heritage
1) French
2) Native
3) I think there's some Irish in there somewhere but don't quote me

Name three things that scare you
1) Being "caught" (I'm severely claustorphobic)
2) Being rejected
3) Failure

Name three of your everyday essentials
1) Caffeine (coffee, tea, diet coke/pepsi)
2) popcorn and other salty treats (like chips...get your mind out of the gutter)
3) Baths

Name three things you are wearing right now
1) Pink tank-top
2) Pink pj pants
3) Pink slippers (Oh my god, I'm such a girl...damn you McLay!)

Name three of your favorite bands or artists
1) Billy Joel
2) Eric Clapton
3) Leonard Cohen

Name three of your favorite songs at this moment:
1) Piano man (at this moment and at every moment)
2) Livin' Loving Maid (Led Zeppelin)
3) Hallelujah (Cohen) I had to leave this one for a while due to over exposure during the summer but it's made a come-back.

Name three new things you want to do in the next 12 months
1) Decide what to do after I graduate
2) Write my honors thesis
3) Win my third consecutive Songfest title

Name three things you want in a relationship (love is a given)
1) Passion
2) Honesty
3) Excitement

Name two truths and one lie
1) I've never been out of North America
2) I've only been in love twice
3) I had a cat named "Rad"

Name three things about the opposite sex that attract you
1) Great teeth...first and foremost
2) Sense of humour/flair for the dramatic
3) Confidence

Name three things you just can't do
1) Take time out for myself
2) Sleep regularly and at reasonable hours
3) Go to all my classes/ study for exams ahead of time

Name three of your hobbies
1) Singing/Piano/Conducting
2) Weightlifting/Working out
3) Being controversial

Name three things that you want really badly right now
1) The one that I can't have (those who know me know, those who don't it's none of your business)
2) A full night's sleep.
3) My entire family home for Christmas

Name three careers you're considering
1) Political Analyst
2) Lawyer (desperately hoping to be called to the bench)
3) Professor and Socio-Political Science

Name three places you want to go on vacation to
1) Ottawa/ Montreal
2) Vietnam or Russia
3) New Zealand or Belgium

Name three potential kids names
GIRL
1) Chloé
2) Angélique
3) Alissa or Gabrielle or Zara (they're tied)

BOY
1) Alexandre
2) Sébastien
3) Michel (after my dad)

Name three things you want to do before you die
1) Actually graduate...for real...no joke...
2) Get a real job...for real...again...no joke...
3) Raise a child

Name three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully
1) Victoria
2) Any one who reads it since I'm only putting it on my blog
3) Anyone who has time.

Without You

Let me touch your face tonight
I need to know if you’re really real
I know you’re known for putting up a fight
But tell me, can you feel the way I feel?

Do you know, you make my heart cease
And that I smile through my pain
Who I am is everything you don’t see
All that words can not explain

And I will never be content without you
And I can never be complete without you
But I will never show
And you will never know
And I will always be without you

Maybe we are victims of sunshine
Casting too much light upon our shadows
I can’t heal a pain that isn’t mine,
But I will drink with you to all our sorrows

And I will never be content without you
And I can never be complete without you
But I will never show
And you will never know
And I will always be without you

Don’t make the rain go away- I pray
The sky is crying with me and misery loves company

(BREAK)

Don’t grieve for me before I’m done my time
I swear to God, I won’t be taken to out to task
Maybe I always knew you’d never be mine
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,
I had to ask.

And I will never be content without you
And I can never be complete without you
But I will never show
And you will never know
And I will still exist without you

1) What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Well, I don't know if I've "never" done it before, but I spent almost the entire year 'single'...that's a new one...there were a few weeks in between where no one really knew if I was single or not, but in general 2004 was a single year.

2) Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't really tend to make New Years resolutions. I like to work on the negative aspects of myself on a continual basis. But I guess I lived up to a few goals and crashed and burned in some others (like going to all my classes...HA!)

3) Did someone close to you give birth? Nope, but there were a few Pi Phi births...Congratulations Leah and her new baby girl!

4)Did anyone close to you die? Not "close" to me, but people that I knew or who were very close to friends of mine. Phil, my heart goes out to you and your family.

5) What countries did you visit? Just my own, Good old Canada, but I did get to see quite a lot of it this year which was pretty cool.

6) What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Health

7) What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Some of these are very happy memories, others very sad; For better or for worse:
Bid day, Big/Little sister night, August 24th, Greek God and Goddess, Initiations (november 19th in particular), and a few more special moments that I can't remember exact dates for but I will remember forever: Avenue Pizza with Janine and Jon, the first time I saw my best friend cry, the day I broke up with Phil. Montreal, Toronto.

8)What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving my illness. Befriending Janine and Victoria. Learning to be on my own. Being asked on Conference in Montreal.

9) What was your biggest failure? I let down some people I love and didn't tell them things that I should have...I lost a lot of friends (though I made new ones), I was afraid a lot.

10)Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, I was seriously ill this year. I also broke my foot in the summer which was good because it meant that I had to change jobs and work for the Youth department again...with Janine! :)

11) What was the best thing you bought? hmm, I'm a pretty big fan of the x-mas gift I got janine...liquor at scholars??? I don't know...my friends????

12) Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone's but I'm going to highlight a few in particulars: Janine: who learned and adapted brilliantly this summer, Victoria: who has showed tremendous strength of character in dealing with her long distance love. Phil: for his tremendous loyalty, patience and understanding. My mom for rocking the world out of her MBA! Antoine for being strong out in Ottawa.

13) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I have been truly and disallusioned by a few of my "friends" this year...But I'm happy to know now who can be trusted and who can not. I am the better person for it, and I take solace in that. But it hurt.

14) Where did most of your money go? Liquor, it's always liquor...and yes, it's always worth it.

15) What did you get really, really, really excited about? Montreal. Formal Recruitment with Janine. Tonight...;), long distance excitement: My double team B-day/Farewell party with Neener this April. WooHoo!

16)What song will always remind you of 2004? Meet Virginia (Train), HWC (Liz Phair), Stay (Lisa Loeb), "Would you go to bed with me?", Medium Pace (Adam Sandler), FEVER/RIDE A COWBOY! Karma Chameleon, the stupid song that Janine hates that I love from the Mouse people..., Thank you (Led Zeppelin)

17)Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or hardened? I don't see hardened as being the opposite of happy. I am stronger than I have ever been and I am happier now than I have been in years. I have and always will be "hard", but that's just me and people can take it or leave it.

ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner and I'm going to keep getting thinner. Hopefully not as thin as first year, but I plan on looking hot for formal. Even being sick has a perk.

iii. richer or poorer?definitely poorer! Hardcore...so's my mom.

18) What do you wish you'd done more of? Cry. Have faith in my friends. Go to class...(LOL)

19) What do you wish you'd done less of? Fake smile, write papers at the last minute, care what others thought of me.

20) How will you be spending Christmas? with my mom on the 25th. With Phil and my mom on the 26th or 27th. With my friends on the 30th (I want to make a big X-mas supper)

21) Did you fall in love in 2004? Yes, and out of love, and in love and out of love...It was a difficult year romantically.

22)Any one-night stands? Sorry, i'm too smart to answer this question even if I did have something to say...NEVER NEVER ADMIT, DENY DENY DENY!!!

23) What was your favorite TV program? 24. That was easy. Simpsons comes in second

24) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word. I try not to hate anyone...but there are people that I don't respect or care to be around. I think that's natural though.

25)What was the best book you read? Milan Kundara: Laughable Loves

26) What was your greatest musical discovery? A lot of Janine's music, but don't tell her I told you. I rediscovered some old friends musically this year too...nostalgia kick from the late 80s and early 90s. And now, I'm in a Zeppelin phase, but that's a whole other story.

27) What did you want and get? I'll tell you tomorrow. Lol- just kidding. A good friend, that I could tell anything too and who sees right through me even when I don't want her to. The support and respect of my family. Strength.

28) What did you want and not get? Something silly, not even worth talking about anymore...Sometimes you actually want to not get what you thought you wanted...it just takes some time to figure that out.

29) Favorite film of this year? Hmm...there's a few: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", 'The Village", "Kill Bill 2", "Shrek 2"...

30) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 23 on April 21, 2004. I celebrated on the 22nd, at Avenue Pizza Karaoke. Tons of people showed up and it was amazing. I understand that I had a fantastic time, though in all honesty, I don't remember much...

31) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Antoine still lived in Edmonton. If Phil had never left for Slave Lake. If I had never gotten sick. Lots of stuff. But you can't go back and change it, all you can do is deal with the consequences.

32)How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Whatever Victoria and Krystal McLay told me to wear. A lot more feminine, a lot more "grown-uppy", a lot more "sexy" ("low cut shirts make me squirmy!")

33)What kept you sane? Phil. Janine. Victoria. My piano. My poli-psych class. Going to Montreal and knowing that I am good at what I do. Solitude.

34) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Big Brad Pitt thing, Still on my Keiffer Sutherland thing, I'll never lose my Johnny Depp thing.

35) What political issue stirred you the most? HAHA! what political issue DIDN'T stir me??? Um, well, the elections (triple election year for Edmonton. Craziness) Tuition, like always. I'm starting to get really big into minority rights (see my dissertation on the "Invisible Minority"), the cabinet shuffle (OH MY GOD!!!!)

36) Who do you miss? My brother, my mom, my dad, Phil, Aaron (I've missed Aaron a lot lately), the Newton Kids, Janine when she's in the Park...:P

37) Who was the best new person you met? Janine, hands down, no contest....But in all fairness, I met victoria in 2003- but only really got to know her this year- so throw her in there too.

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: It is okay to be afraid, It is okay to let yourself be vulnerable, It is okay to let yourself be loved and It is okay to try new things.
"The only things in life we regret are the risks we did not take"

39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Lisa Loeb's Stay:

you say i only hear what i want to.
you say i talk so all the time so.
and i thought what i felt was simple,
and i thought that i don't belong,
and now that i am leaving,
now i know that i did something wrong 'cause i missed you.
yeah, i missed you.

and you say i only hear what i want to:
i don't listen hard,
i don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
or to anyone, anywhere,
i don't understand if you really care,
i'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.

so i turned the radio on,
i turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
the lover's in love, and the other's run away,
the lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well, this is not that:i think that i'm throwing, but i'm thrown.
and i thought I'd live forever, but now i'm not so sure.
you try to tell me that i'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
you said that i was naive,
and i thought that i was strong.
i thought, "hey, i can leave, i can leave."
but now i know that i was wrong,
'cause i missed you.

you said, "i caught you 'cause i want you and one day i'll let you go."
you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just scared to lose.
and you say, "stay."
you say i only hear what i want to.

I suck at this whole Blog thing

Alright, so obviously I'm not so good at keeping tabs on my online journal...oh well, I'm sorry. I suck. Anyway, I'm posting now so I'll try to make it worthwhile.

So it's the end of school. The last day of classes has come and gone and I am now neck deep in papers and political science terminology. I know that I say this every year, and this year will be no exception: I'm a moron for leaving everything to the last minute. Seriously, there's only so many 20 page papers you can pump out of your head in one week. In any case, I just wrapped up my second last one (on political partisanship and moral political codes: subconsious into conscious process we use to develop our political behavior). It was actually an interesting paper to write. I thoroughly enjoyed the last 5 hours that I have spent glued to my computer screen, fiercely typing as fast as I can! Yee Haw. In all fairness, it was for my favorite class (Political Science 492: the Psychology of Politics) and so I had been thinking about what to write for a long period of time.

I now have three finals left, which I am certainly not looking forward to. More long days of studying and attempting to keep myself awake by taking in too much coffee...I am certain that, for the third year in a row, I will make my ulcer act up on caffeine and I'll have to coffee free for the entire X-mas break. Sad for me.

So, on a completely unrelated note: I've been cheating. I'm generally a very loyal person, I will spend years and years as dedicated as can be...but once in a while my wandering eye gets lured away from its true love into the arms of another...or in this case I should perhaps say arm chair since I am referring to a bar and not a person. I have decided to abandon my Avenue Pizza after 4 and a half long years of unending loyalty. I have been won over by another, with better deals, better service (nice staff), better ambiance and all in all better Karaoke...Scholars, my heart is yours. We (my Karaoke Posse) and I have recently begun dividing our attention between Avenue and Scholars when we discovered two things: 1) that Scholars had Karaoke and was cheaper than Ave. and 2) that the Ave had turned into a gossip mongering high-school wannabe hangout for drama queens who "love" EVERY BOY they encounter and wannabe playas looking to hook up with unsuspecting first year sorority girls. I suddenly remembered just how OLD I really am. But seriously, the older group of us, having been pushed the point of insanity by the chaos and confusion, retreated to a new safe haven (which I am tremendously afraid will turn into Avenue if too many people find out about it...probably throwing it on my blog was a bad idea!)

Which leads me to rant number 1001029 of the year...I hate women. I have decided this. And yes, sometimes I even hate myself. You see the problem with my gender, as I've said before and I'll say time and time again, is that we're all insane. Absolute nutcases, every one of us. And not just a little crazy...a whole lot of crazy. Let me explain, I currently live with 7 women. Now you would think that this is where I would be going nuts...but NO! my living arrangements are actually fantastic. My roomates are great, we seldom argue and truthfully don't see a whole lot of each other. Nope the real problem with my living arrangements is that I live in a damn sorority house! That means that there are 20 women in the house virtually at all time. And the problem is that I didn't choose to live with ANY of them. And OH THE DRAMA- girls stealing the boys that the other girls like, snarky comments about the fact that some have "packed on the pounds", rumours about people's relationships, and on and on and on...seriously every day is a like an episode of Dawson's Creek when it's a bad re-run from the first season and nothing good has happened yet. Yuck.

Anyway, i think I'm spent for the moment. Enough procrastination, gotta get back to the books and paper. I love it...X-mas here I come!

Livin' it up,
Zita