Women are INSANE...
So, I've promised this post...now I must deliver. But I'm warning you- it's gonna be a long one.
I wasn't brought up with a lot of women around me. Few could ever consider my mother to be the 'traditional female role model', and I have certainly not spent most of my life planning my wedding, having fake tea parties and wearing pink (though I understand there was a period of about a year when I was about 6 where I insisted on wearing nothing but pink...I blame it on socially constructed ideals regarding gender stereotypes that are imposed on our young children at an age where they are simultaneously at their most impressionable and least informed about the ramifications of their actions...). Anyway, I have often been told that I'm not "your average girl". In fact, I guess I've pretty much gone out of my way to not be...that said, I suppose I can't deny the simple truths of my gender and the simple fact that I am female remains unchanged.
When asked why I am so adament in rejecting some of the most commonly considered 'female' stereotypes, my answer is often something along the lines of "because Women are INSANE- and I'm trying to nullify the insanity that rages inside me". Now, you might think this is a pretty strong stance. I am, after all, condemning my entire gender (myself included)- a gross and probably mostly inaccurate generalization. However, allow me to explain myself and perhaps you will come to agree that this statement isn't quite as outlandish as it sounds.
First of all, as I've stated, please know that I certainly count myself among the insane. Though I'd like to tell you all that I have somehow managed to evade all traits of craziness that I have genetically inherited, most of those who read this blog know me, and know all too well that I'd be flat out lying. So this isn't a 'holier than thou' statement. Just a series of observations that have led me to one inevitable conclusion.
1) Women are vicious to THEMSELVES. Now, I'm not a male and the truth is that men might be every bit as self-depricating as women. However, for some reason, I find this unlikely. Women- yes, almost every woman I've ever met- are INCREDIBLY hard on themselves. Granted, this isn't completely our own faults. We've been raised to believe that we will never live up to the perfect images that we are told women must achieve. We condemn our bodies, our minds, our abilities, our personalities and everything that makes us unique. The truth is, for many women, individuality is not a blessing- it is a curse. Many of us (please note the use of "Many" rather than "all") would far rather look like the images on tv and in magazines that we are continuously exposed to. We are told from birth that if we don't look a certain way, speak a certain way and act a certain way we will never be accepted. And the goal is always to be accepted. The fear of rejection becomes inate from a very young age. However, there is no way for us to conform to all the standards that we set for ourselves. And who do we blame for that? The media for setting unreasonable expectations of us? The school system for conditioning us into certain gendered stereotypes? Society in general for adoring an unachievable beauty? NOPE! We blame ourselves. We start, from a very early age, taking in all the stereotypes and believing that we are lesser people for not living up to them. And we assimilate this self-loathing until it becomes a part of our nature. Again, is this ALL women? Probably not- but I would say this it's a lot of us. There is no other way to describe this type of behavior but: INSANE!
2) Women are incredibly vicious to EACH OTHER: Now, this isn't particularly news to anyone. If you don't believe that women are outright mean to each other, join a sorority! Even the closest of friends have their moments of weakness. Just listen to what one girl will say about her best friend when she's pissed off at her...I'm convinced the situation would be greatly improved if women starting having fistfights to resolve their issues- but that's just me. Now, to me, this entire situation is a direct result from the one explained above. We see women as competitors. We compare ourselves continuously to other women in terms of intelligence, attractiveness, style, personality- hell even something as stupid of shoe size has been known to make women feel bad about themselves. And we all know that the most effective way of making yourself feel better is by making someone feel bad about themselves. Unfortunately, most women don't have the guts to make other women feel bad to their face...and this is where GOSSIP comes into play. Oh gossip, you enticing mistress! How I loathe and love thee! See everyone has this love/hate relationship with gossip. We love it until it's about us. See, here the real difference between the genders isn't necessarily that women hate each other more than men hate other men. It's more the nature of that hatred: what form it takes and why it exists. I could go on about that but I'm not going to...that a whole post on its own.
As for the rest of these, they are just things that I have noticed and haven't necessarily researched or thought about anywhere near the first two points. So I'll just state them as observations that may or may not be incorrect but I believe to be true.
3) Women over analyze stuff...way way way too much! If his knee grazed your leg as he was sitting down, it PROBABLY doesn't mean that he's madly in love with you...it's probably just a tight seating area and he probably didn't even notice!
4) Women react emotionally to situations that require logic, calm and patience. Your boyfriend didn't call you last night? He PROBABLY wasn't out screwing the hot waitress from Scholars...he probably caught got up in something and simply forgot. Not the end of the world. Of course, the most logical answer is the last thing you'll expect to get from him.
5) Women have insane double standards: It's okay for us to have as many guy friends as possible and to flirt shamelessly with other men- but if you're the boyfriend, watch yourself. It is CERTAINLY not okay for you...(I am particularly bad for this one, though I've only recently noticed it...and I'm working it)
6) Women have selective memories: Again, this is just my observation- but have you ever noticed that women will 'recall' the most trivial of facts and forget the most important ones at their convenience. It's quite the bar trick I tell you!
7) Women talk more than they listen. This is ALWAYS a bad idea. Again, chalk one up for a major Zita fault...Moreover, women hear what they want to hear. Regardless of whether or not it has been said.
8) Women will almost always jump to the most awful, dramatic and drastic of all conclusions: this goes back to the emotions point. If there is a worst case scenarior for a problem, women will think it up and ignore all other possibilities. Whatever the worst case is dominates their minds until they are given either a) the truth or b) an EVEN WORSE worst case scenario! Tie into this that women will always hear the negative more than the positive: this goes back to the whole "do I look fat in this" catch 22. And we ALL SAY we want to hear the truth...and we ALL BELIEVE that we want to hear the truth...but once the truth is said, we ALL REALIZE that we really didn't want to hear it after all.
Okay, I'm going to stop there. I'm sure that I've already said enough to infuriate most of my gender. Please bear in mind that I am FULLY aware that these are generalizations. And don't get me wrong- there's TONS wrong with men too...But again, that's the subject of another post.
And there's TONS that's great about being a girl- though sometimes I forget about it. I'm sure that there are many women who will say that these points don't describe them. I'm sure that very few women cover ALL of these points...(and for the love of God, keep me away from anyone who does...) but at the end of the day, I'm sure that most women will see at least a glimmer of ourselves in them. Like I said, I include myself in my analysis. So there you have it- my reasons for maintaning that women are insane.
I kinda like being crazy!
Zita
I wasn't brought up with a lot of women around me. Few could ever consider my mother to be the 'traditional female role model', and I have certainly not spent most of my life planning my wedding, having fake tea parties and wearing pink (though I understand there was a period of about a year when I was about 6 where I insisted on wearing nothing but pink...I blame it on socially constructed ideals regarding gender stereotypes that are imposed on our young children at an age where they are simultaneously at their most impressionable and least informed about the ramifications of their actions...). Anyway, I have often been told that I'm not "your average girl". In fact, I guess I've pretty much gone out of my way to not be...that said, I suppose I can't deny the simple truths of my gender and the simple fact that I am female remains unchanged.
When asked why I am so adament in rejecting some of the most commonly considered 'female' stereotypes, my answer is often something along the lines of "because Women are INSANE- and I'm trying to nullify the insanity that rages inside me". Now, you might think this is a pretty strong stance. I am, after all, condemning my entire gender (myself included)- a gross and probably mostly inaccurate generalization. However, allow me to explain myself and perhaps you will come to agree that this statement isn't quite as outlandish as it sounds.
First of all, as I've stated, please know that I certainly count myself among the insane. Though I'd like to tell you all that I have somehow managed to evade all traits of craziness that I have genetically inherited, most of those who read this blog know me, and know all too well that I'd be flat out lying. So this isn't a 'holier than thou' statement. Just a series of observations that have led me to one inevitable conclusion.
1) Women are vicious to THEMSELVES. Now, I'm not a male and the truth is that men might be every bit as self-depricating as women. However, for some reason, I find this unlikely. Women- yes, almost every woman I've ever met- are INCREDIBLY hard on themselves. Granted, this isn't completely our own faults. We've been raised to believe that we will never live up to the perfect images that we are told women must achieve. We condemn our bodies, our minds, our abilities, our personalities and everything that makes us unique. The truth is, for many women, individuality is not a blessing- it is a curse. Many of us (please note the use of "Many" rather than "all") would far rather look like the images on tv and in magazines that we are continuously exposed to. We are told from birth that if we don't look a certain way, speak a certain way and act a certain way we will never be accepted. And the goal is always to be accepted. The fear of rejection becomes inate from a very young age. However, there is no way for us to conform to all the standards that we set for ourselves. And who do we blame for that? The media for setting unreasonable expectations of us? The school system for conditioning us into certain gendered stereotypes? Society in general for adoring an unachievable beauty? NOPE! We blame ourselves. We start, from a very early age, taking in all the stereotypes and believing that we are lesser people for not living up to them. And we assimilate this self-loathing until it becomes a part of our nature. Again, is this ALL women? Probably not- but I would say this it's a lot of us. There is no other way to describe this type of behavior but: INSANE!
2) Women are incredibly vicious to EACH OTHER: Now, this isn't particularly news to anyone. If you don't believe that women are outright mean to each other, join a sorority! Even the closest of friends have their moments of weakness. Just listen to what one girl will say about her best friend when she's pissed off at her...I'm convinced the situation would be greatly improved if women starting having fistfights to resolve their issues- but that's just me. Now, to me, this entire situation is a direct result from the one explained above. We see women as competitors. We compare ourselves continuously to other women in terms of intelligence, attractiveness, style, personality- hell even something as stupid of shoe size has been known to make women feel bad about themselves. And we all know that the most effective way of making yourself feel better is by making someone feel bad about themselves. Unfortunately, most women don't have the guts to make other women feel bad to their face...and this is where GOSSIP comes into play. Oh gossip, you enticing mistress! How I loathe and love thee! See everyone has this love/hate relationship with gossip. We love it until it's about us. See, here the real difference between the genders isn't necessarily that women hate each other more than men hate other men. It's more the nature of that hatred: what form it takes and why it exists. I could go on about that but I'm not going to...that a whole post on its own.
As for the rest of these, they are just things that I have noticed and haven't necessarily researched or thought about anywhere near the first two points. So I'll just state them as observations that may or may not be incorrect but I believe to be true.
3) Women over analyze stuff...way way way too much! If his knee grazed your leg as he was sitting down, it PROBABLY doesn't mean that he's madly in love with you...it's probably just a tight seating area and he probably didn't even notice!
4) Women react emotionally to situations that require logic, calm and patience. Your boyfriend didn't call you last night? He PROBABLY wasn't out screwing the hot waitress from Scholars...he probably caught got up in something and simply forgot. Not the end of the world. Of course, the most logical answer is the last thing you'll expect to get from him.
5) Women have insane double standards: It's okay for us to have as many guy friends as possible and to flirt shamelessly with other men- but if you're the boyfriend, watch yourself. It is CERTAINLY not okay for you...(I am particularly bad for this one, though I've only recently noticed it...and I'm working it)
6) Women have selective memories: Again, this is just my observation- but have you ever noticed that women will 'recall' the most trivial of facts and forget the most important ones at their convenience. It's quite the bar trick I tell you!
7) Women talk more than they listen. This is ALWAYS a bad idea. Again, chalk one up for a major Zita fault...Moreover, women hear what they want to hear. Regardless of whether or not it has been said.
8) Women will almost always jump to the most awful, dramatic and drastic of all conclusions: this goes back to the emotions point. If there is a worst case scenarior for a problem, women will think it up and ignore all other possibilities. Whatever the worst case is dominates their minds until they are given either a) the truth or b) an EVEN WORSE worst case scenario! Tie into this that women will always hear the negative more than the positive: this goes back to the whole "do I look fat in this" catch 22. And we ALL SAY we want to hear the truth...and we ALL BELIEVE that we want to hear the truth...but once the truth is said, we ALL REALIZE that we really didn't want to hear it after all.
Okay, I'm going to stop there. I'm sure that I've already said enough to infuriate most of my gender. Please bear in mind that I am FULLY aware that these are generalizations. And don't get me wrong- there's TONS wrong with men too...But again, that's the subject of another post.
And there's TONS that's great about being a girl- though sometimes I forget about it. I'm sure that there are many women who will say that these points don't describe them. I'm sure that very few women cover ALL of these points...(and for the love of God, keep me away from anyone who does...) but at the end of the day, I'm sure that most women will see at least a glimmer of ourselves in them. Like I said, I include myself in my analysis. So there you have it- my reasons for maintaning that women are insane.
I kinda like being crazy!
Zita
posted by Zita Dube @ Saturday, April 02, 2005
9 comments
